pilot me.

this weekend i had the pleasure of attending the temple with some dear friends of mine. it was her first time. it’s amazing, the love you can feel for others. my friends warm my soul.

oh by the way, im an RN. nbd!

photos of some pretty flowers from a recent reception.

ron ron…ron weasley.

you know that feeling when you get home from harry potter and the deathly hollows part 2 and your eyes are all puffy cause you cried through the whole things and you really wish you would have seen it in california because their theaters had grief counselors to catch you as you sobbed your way past the concession stands to help you put your life back together after your childhood came to a cashing brilliant end. cause i do.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

im having a mid mid life crisis.

my boards are this week.

i caaaant stop studying/freakingout/hyperventilating.

if i dont pass please still give me loves.

excuse me while i go barf. wishingiwasstillhiking/sleepingunderthestars.

ill update you on this crazybones trip soon.

AND my first guest post on the lovely busy bee laurens blog. Check it out!

im so glad when daddy comes home.

today i was thinking about how bomb.com my dad is. it brought me back to second grade. i was one of those kids that made tunnels in the sand , or played chinese jump rope with my gurrrrls during recess.… i had my first bully encounter that year and he was a smelly, red head boy named nathan hamburg. i called him nathan hamburger, which probably didnt help my case. he used to chase me around the playground and one day, he caught me. he ripped my sweet silky blue shirt and i turned to him and yelled, “ MY DAD’S GONNA PUT YOU IN JAIL!” and i believed it. i threatened mean people daily with that line, cause shoot, my dad’s a copper crime stopper and has a badge to show it. i had so much love and faith in my papa. every year for show and tell id stand up and list off all the cool things my dad did for work, instead of bringing in my new beanie baby. which has grown since…. (not the beanie baby collection.. although we do have a tub of them. which will be on display at my wedding.)

-motorcycle cop. < dont judge, he was probably the only legit one out there.

-swat team. < seee cool.

-undercover narcotics. < i seriously cried every morning he left for work cause i was scared he was gonna die. :( i knew too much. he had a beard and was the guy that did the drug deals before the cops would pounce on the crim.

- homicide. <did i mention how amazing his campfire stories are? dead people.

-interrogator of all the boys i dated. . . . . i feared for the boys. i also missed a couple dates cause they didnt pass.

my dad has seen so much, mostly the worst of people. yet he is the most nonjudgmental,  kind hearted person i know. eeek, im tearing up.. i would not be the person i am today if it wasnt for his constant affection, his daily hugs, and allll the life lessons ive learned by watching his example. you’ve heard my dad isms… he’s as blunt as they come. he keeps me sane and grounded and he gave me my gangly body. i love you pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa! the hand on the hip looks great on you.

tempting..

i cant believe im saying this..but im considering spending over 100 bucks for a modest swim suit. anthro, you’ve done good. any good alternatives friends? swim suits and prom dresses… never modestly stylish/afordable. grr.

peace.

have you every wondered how you got on a topic of conversation and traveled back on your train of thought? if you followed my thought process, you’d probably get lost and confused in my imagination. i was blessed to do a session with my dear friend mill this week. a year ago i was struggling with the thought of going through a session alone. all i had ever known was going through as a wife. it seemed so silly to be frightened to go alone, but with my girlfriends by my side we sat, we cried and we were uplifted. my eyes were opened to the strength that going through the temple with your close friends brings. If you haven't gone through with a girlfriend, try it. i have learned so much from these beautiful women, and there is a closeness it brings that cant be matched. 

ive fought with the thought of sharing this but ive felt so strongly that it could maybe help another woman (or dude i guess) that struggles with the thoughts that go through so many of our minds. this particular session brought to light the importance of speaking kindly of others. And not only speaking kindly, but seeing the positive in everything and everyone. when we let negativity sprout its poisonous roots within us, it becomes a cancer that spreads to all things. When i view others in a negative light i start allowing that negative poison to pulse through my veins and soon my view of life becomes tinted. I become critical of myself, my temper shortens, and it kills the spirit. changing our view and seeing the positive is the cure. it’s so powerful to me that doing something as simple as following Christ's example completely extinguishes all negativity. It’s automatic, you view yourself and others as Gods children instead of only seeing their flaws. Life could be so great if we just loved each other.

Brade and i were discussing this and he brought up “his constitution for life.” I had never seen this document before but im in love. it’s called desiderata. read it, love it, live it. 

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

top it off!

this must be overwhelming…i posted 3 times in 4 days…but i have some fab news!

i collaborated with Boutique To You to shoot a lookbook for their summer collection of tees. BTY is an online boutique that brings celebrity style to you. it was a dream to work with these girls and all the bananas-blowmymind-amazing clothing. i kept feeling a need to pinch myself throughout the process. i think i found my new calling/dreamjob/ohmygoodnessilovedeverysecondofthis. to see lookbook click here.

too see more fun photos click here.